Going…. down?

Since graduating from college, plus one summer internship, I have only worked in the field of education. I’ve had a broad range of responsibilities, but have always been motivated by primarily two things: 1) a desire to help bring about equal opportunity, and 2) a belief in learning as a lifelong endeavor, something that enriches and improves a person whether it is in a classroom or through daily existence. Every experience contains a lesson, and it is every person’s right and responsibility to appriciate learning and use it positively.

Valuing learning as I do, it would be perfectly reasonable for anyone to ask “Evie, how in a million miserable hells did you fall down the stairs in your apartment ass-first for the third time in two weeks?”

This, it should comfort you to know, has been plaguing my questioning mind all morning. It is a relatively short flight, going only from the livingroom to the bedroom on the second floor, which I ascend and descend multiple times daily. One would think that someone with my respectable intelligence would learn to negotiate the slope, the carpeted surface, the width of each step, and the very slight turn to the left at the bottom. And yet, as I flitted down this morning, I once again placed my foot into air rather than stair, causing my legs to fly out from under me and my ass to bounce down three or four stairs and into the livingroom. At least this time I didn’t remove several layers of skin from the side of my pinky while trying to break my fall. Although the shock to my ass bones did make me nauseous to the point where I had to crawl to the couch and lie like a beached seal for ten minutes.

There are many factors that affect a person’s ability to learn, and below average achievement usually reflects a complicated combination of these factors rather than a single measure of inate ability or motivation. Why I have not been able to master the skill of moving vertically within my house is an interesting research question, much like determining why an otherwise intelligent child forgot her fucking cell phone at home AGAIN. Hypotheses are welcome.

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5 Comments

  1. You might want to think about looking into one of these bad boys. I had one put into my apartment a year ago, and I don’t even have stairs! (But I’ll be damned if the time it takes to get to the top shelf in my kitchen cabinet isn’t the safest five minutes of my day.)

  2. At least you have your benefits now.

  3. Don’t be knocking the AmeriGlide. My great-aunts had one back when they lived in their house, and it’s one hell of a crazy ride.
    And Evie, I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: for an attractive, confident, generally put-together woman, you fall down an awful lot. I begin to think that the things that would knock other people off-kilter emotionally actually just knocked you off-kilter, period.

  4. you see… you’re soo busy Thinking Big Thoughts that the simple things are sliding a bit. like gum chewing and walking with out falling. when you can *focus* your full attention on smartypants things like you do, it’s inevitable you’ll wipe out here and there. i heard that einstein was a total clutz. ;-)

  5. Uh… right… that’s my excuse.

    I’m pretty sure that when I fell I was thinking “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. cough.”

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