The jerk store called, they’re out of you

Happy Halloween everykitten! For the second year in a row, I didn’t get it together to dress up, except maybe as the jerk who turns off all the lights to avoid trick-or-treaters. It’s not that I wouldn’t love to see all the little baby Spidermen and Luna Lovegoods, I’m just feeling kind of meh about getting up and sitting down and getting up, plus I don’t want candy in my house. I know, I’m gonna be the funnest mom! I contemplated the asshole-who-hands-out-raisin-packs, but I don’t think I could bear to watch dozens of little painted faces fall in disappointment and then sneer into contempt.

One of these years I’ll think about it for a few days and make plans and whatever, but I haven’t been getting up early enough in the morning for that kind of thing. Two years ago Aaron and I went to a party as the Liberal Media–it started with some grand plans I had for Sexy Dick Cheney, but then I couldn’t breathe in the rubber mask so instead I mounted it on a stake and went from there. In 2004, Courtney and I went as Jem and Jerrica, a natural evolution from the previous year’s twin Stevies (side note: I know three separate people who are going this year as Stevie Nicks or a living-dead version of Stevie Nicks). And then of course a few years before was this.

Anyway, I look forward to the day that I am thusly inspired again, but for now I’ll just get an early start on my hand-trace turkeys.

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