Hip replacement

So the first candidate to replace me at work just came in the office, and I’m sitting at my desk in plain view splitting pills in half with a blade like some kind of crack fiend. I think if they introduce her to me after her interview I’ll run my pinky along my nostrils and sniffle before shaking her hand.

I also paid my last visit (for a while anyway) to the infamous karaoke show last night, which was made somewhat anti-climactic by the blizzard-induced low attendance and the fact that the words to Groove Is in the Heart were all fucked up on the screen, but made wonderlicious by the fact that a number of my dearest friends came along for my swan song.

And now I have to stare blankly at my computer screen for a while willing myself to be a big girl and do some work that will make the transition easier for my successor, even though I frankly couldn’t give the minutest of shits.

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  1. Try adding more fiber to your diet.

  2. It’s good to be openly cutting your stash when you meet your replacement. Gives ‘em a peek into their future. You’re The Ghost of Shitty Jobs Past.

  3. You modestly neglected to mention that you rocked “Groove is in the Heart” nonetheless, I see.

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