Don’t bother reading this, I just have to write it, because fuuuuccck

If you know anything about me whatsoever, you probably know that my back gave out two years ago and I’ve been dealing with the fallout ever since. Because I never, ever shut up about it, because it freaking sucks, and because I am the opposite of stoic (a word I learned when I was about three years old, when my mom started telling me that I’m the opposite of it). Anyway, in the past two years, I have tried to fix it with physical therapy, yoga, acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, epidural steroid injections, Lazarus Pit submersion, snake dancing, and pretty much anything else that has ever for even a moment been linked to orthopedic relief. I’m at a point right now where I have a full bottle of Vicodin on my person at all times (no I’m not sharing), and an appointment with a surgeon next week. But for the most part I’ve been on a plateau of tolerable nerve pain that still lets me do things like go to the gym and clean the cat box.

Until Friday morning, when I bent over to pick up my shirt off the floor AND THE WHOLE THING LOCKED UP AND NOW I AM RIGHT BACK WHERE I FUCKING STARTED. It was Aaron’s birthday, and he had to help me tie my shoes and get in and out of chairs. After two years of who knows how many hundreds of dollars spent and forms filled out, I might as well have bought myself a nice dining room set with the copays and spent the time at appointments earning money for a place that has a dining room. Goddammit.

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  1. Yo Mama

     /  October 8, 2007

    Oh, my dear Stoic-As-In-You-Aren’t,

    I used to wonder on occasion if you’d keel over on me one day–the sad result of my tuning out the recitation of your every ache and pain. Gratefully, that never happened. Nevertheless, I’m truly sorry to hear about the sudden reversal of what little relief you may have gleaned over the past two years–not to mention taking Aaron down with you! I hope your surgeon has a kinder heart than mine, and will take the time to listen to you, figure out exactly what’s going on and fix it! Be sure to call me after your appointment. Love You.

  2. Bummer. Hope some relief can be found.

  3. 3123 – good site. PeterPan

  4. There is this free clinic in my neighborhood that have this massage table called Ceragem and it has these heated rollers that roll up and down from your cervix to your coccix and it seems to have helped alot of people suffering those types of ailments. I tried it out myself and it made me very sleepy, and I imagine that if I were feeling stressed it would have helped me out alot.

  5. Oh man, my old chiropractor had one of those things and it RULED. But they only let me go on it once because I was doing this other traction crap that it would have messed with. Thanks for reminding me, I need to find another place with one of those that won’t restrict my access. It won’t be free though. :(

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