Ineffectiveness Follow-up, aka Response to Comments from the Previous Entry Because I Have No Other Material

Re: 80s Toys
Because I was a very spoiled child, it has never been quite clear why my perfectly reasonable requests for a Lite Brite and Snoopy Snowcone Machine went unanswered. I theorize it was part of the conspiracy that also forbid use of the dishwasher, an oppressive restriction that was curiously lifted after I left for college. Anyway, because I am an equally spoiled girlfriend, I am now in glowing posession of a Lite Brite, which has apparently offended the cats in some way. Sadly, they no longer make the Snoopy Snowcone Machine, so I got a Slurpee Drink Maker, which turns juice into slightly colder juice. Do not buy it. I also run the dishwasher twice a day.

Re: Hamsters
To spare you the trouble of clicking and scrolling, I am pasting below the aforementioned Amazon customer review of Ham Hams Unite! by Janet Crawford “Hannah Crawford,” whoever she/they is/are, with whom I wholeheartedly agree:

BUY THIS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now time for cheats
fllower bijou and tack-q the tree and then she loses the shiny rock. LOOK IN THE CAVE BESIDE HER!!!
maxwell; somewhere in the game you will see what looks like musterd say hamha to it and down will come maxwell.
howdy and dexter;soon when your at that supermaret some thing will happen to one of them to howdy he will get stuck in the resiter, dexter will be frozen.the vander whats your monye so talk to him then talk to the hamster that insent stuck.
go to the frog that had penlope he will teach you a hamchat then go on the cute little eleavarter and telll the hamsters on a pincie that its going to be rainy do this by hiff hiff then go into the hole that was under the blanect
you can get it for here IF YOU THINK HAMTARO IS STIPUD YOU ARE A NUT HEAD AND STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  1. maybe if you’re really good and eat all your veggies someone will get this for you one day..

    snow cones!

  2. Do you have another dishwasher somewhere that I don’t know about?

  3. Jess

     /  October 27, 2005

    Your mother wouldn’t let you run the dishwasher? What sort of reverse-Tom-Sawyer mind trick did you pull on her to make that happen?

  4. J- Apparently it was “not worth using for only two people,” meaning that instead of running the dishwasher for half an hour a week we’d have to run the sink for 20 minutes eight times a week and get those hateful dishpan hands.

    A- Har har. I was using what we in the biz call ‘hyperbole’ to express the wasteful habits that resulted when the dishwasher rule backfired. And anyways, just because I may neglect every now and again to unload and reload the dishwasher, doesn’t mean I don’t just arbitrarily run it willy-nilly.

  5. Jess

     /  October 27, 2005

    Ah! I thought she just wouldn’t let you do it, and loaded and unloaded it herself instead. This makes more sense.

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