Some Very Important Information for You

It’s really lame when people use their blogs to bitch about ailments. Readers visit to be entertained, or to learn something, or to hear an interesting perspective on an issue, not to be the poor schmuck who accidentally asked you “how you doin?” during a period of pathetic wreckitude.

But it’s my dang blog, and now that I don’t leave the house for work I can no longer bitch to my coworker or the barista. And I do not heal quietly.

After a few weeks of being sort of stiff, my lower back looked at me the other day and said “you know what, fuck you. You never stretch me, you don’t do any exercise except for playing tennis (my worst nemesis), and you pay more attention to your toenails and eyelashes than you do me, the thing that holds you fucking upright all day long. I’m out of here, asshole”. So I’ve been incapacitated for four days, and even hiccuping makes me cry. Plus I have the hiccups.

Since I could probably use a pretty substantial chi adjustment anyway, I’m gonna try some shiatsu/acupuncture/fairy dust/wicca thing tomorrow. I’ll let you know how it goes. Whether you give a crap or not.

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  1. Owie! Poor kid. I hope the fairies work.

  2. snowy

     /  August 2, 2005

    ew. pain is no good. no no no.
    feel better, dearie.

  3. That’s some serious trash talking. And I can’t believe you let your lower back talk to you like that. I’d be all, ‘No, fuck YOU, lower back. Ever had a MASSAGE or twenty? Because the small intestine don’t get none of that shit, so shut the fuck up and get back to work.’

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