Will it ever stop? Yo, I don’t know.

A few days ago I watched the MTV show Made, where a dorky white Jewish kid wanted to be a rapper. C-Rayz Walz was his coach, and tried to teach him how to feel the rhyme. The effect on the viewer was supposed to be to make you cringe with embarrassment for the kid as he pathetically tries to freestyle, and then feel your heart warm as he gains confidence.

There was that, but there’s also that I haven’t been able to stop freestyling since. For example, here’s how I spent Monday:

My name is Evie, don’t call me Evvie,
I’m the ‘nilla with the fillah and my rhymes is heavy

Forget about those eggs, don’t stick me with that toast,
It’s Grape Nuts and blueberries I’m feelin’ the most.

His name is Stan, he’s jumpin’ in the shower,
He’s the cat of the cats and he’s got cat power.

Ducks migrate south to sell inSURANCE,
They can fly real far cuz they got enDURANCE.
(during Aflack commercial)

Your bag is cute, but mine is cutah
It has this velcro thing where I keep my computah.

The streets is filled with illegal firecrackers,
Shut that noise up kids, you’re wakin’ all the…uh… crackers.

It’s getting a little irritating. How’s your day going?

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  1. Allright, NOW I’m cringing.

  2. I just wrote a comment that was a quote of your post and then the word “Ha.” It was denied for questionable language.
    Put that in your pipe, missy.

  3. snowy

     /  July 8, 2005

    well now my day just got a little better because of your evvie freestyling grape nuts post.


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