I have Barbie Arms again. Barbie Arms is what happens when a sadistic trainer forces you to use a certain upper-body weight machine until the muscle between your forearm and bicep is so sore that you can’t straighten your arms for several days. I’m hoping they’ll downgrade to Skipper Arms by the end of the [...]
Sherbet! Preferably Swiss Orange! A jab-jab-cross-uppercut-round-out kick combination! Watching a cat chase a laser pointer! Pears! Nina Totenberg! ‘Apples to Apples’ (w/ speed-round rules)! Steel-cut porridge from County Kildare! Other people’s babies! Feminists who love 1940s fashion! This book about gay penguins! Bonus: Havarti!
Of all the things for which Europe’s “The Final Countdown” is an appropriate theme song, I would not have chosen the processional of my friends Jim and Maggie’s wedding last June… but they also had inflatable monkeys and a dachshund bridesmaid, so that’s just them. I would, however, consider it appropriate for the period of [...]
What do you suppose are the cosmic implications of Old Navy inexplicably using a graphical reference to my high school and hometown as the new logo for sweatpants in their surf-inspired line of loungewear?
Last night confirmed either that I am still young and cool, or that I totally am not. One of my Christmas presents was tickets to see the English Beat, sacrificially gifted by someone who listens only to 50s crooners or music written so recently not even the artist has heard it entirely, and very little [...]
Yes I am still a headless chicken and completely disorganized, but more specifically, my brain is babbaganoush and can’t get beyond thoughts like “need more frozen blueberries” and “my pants will definitely fit best in the new wardrobe if folded twice. No, once. No, totally in thirds.”, let alone write any fucking thing. I can [...]
Some semi-interesting things actually have happened in the past few weeks, I mean besides the Dickson Poon thing, but my holiday committment series doesn’t end until tonight at approximately 11:00pm EST so it will have to wait. Happy friggin New Year!