All posts for the month January, 2005

A few administrative details

DIE SPAM MONKEYS DIE!!!! It’s gratifying to see that the site gets dozens of comments a day, but as a modest soul it does make me a tad uncomfortable. Particularly when my fans leave me all sorts of flattery about my poker skills, shrewd pharmaceutical shopping skills and breast size. Oh please, really, stop. STOP. [...]

This young punk is going to hell

I find it funny that the elderly become so incensed at the rudeness and disrespect of today’s youth, when common courtesy is clearly the first thing to go. Hey granny, do you realize that nine people are waiting in line while you insist that you hate mayonnaise, that the sign says $5.95 so why were [...]


Have you ever felt explosively impatient, but have no idea why? Like somehow you just know something fantastically exciting is about to happen but you have no reasoning or evidence for it and have no better explanation for it than the fact that there was just something about the way your lemon scone tasted this [...]


Here’s my latest piece of publish, serving also as supporting evidence for yesterday’s post. (p.s. to Jess, sorry for the reference in the article, you know it’s only a vehicle for my snarky online persona.)

New Leaf

2004 was, without a doubt, the least societally productive year of my adulthood plus part of high school. I did a lot of writing and consciously became a better tipper, but that’s pretty much all I have to brag about. Given this fact, one might logically assume that I would make a new year’s resolution [...]

Aught Five

I still have a big ol’ head fulla snot, and even though I feel much better, I am almost completely lacking in interesting/embarrassing/heartwarming stories from the holiday week. I was in Los Angeles, but could have been in Duluth for all I knew from my death ward in Mom’s spare room. I’ll try to come [...]